See, Trolls Cost Money

Here at BDB’s we can’t even afford one troll. I have talked to BDB and wonder if we all pooled our resources we could pay for a part-time troll. I know this is a free site and we can’t have all the dohickeys but maybe a Go-Fund-Page would help. Any idea how much money we need to raise?

I think it would be good to have a job description so that we get our money’s worth. Would you help compiling the Daily Troll Tasks for our Little Man With An Attitude? (This is a generic “Man” we don’t care if it is a “Little Woman”. )

  1. Needs to know the art of SeaLioning. (No I don’t have a citation for this. ;-))

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42 Responses to See, Trolls Cost Money

  1. 10 Cents10 Cents says:

    2. Healthy state of inflated ego. (I am thinking 200 psi.)

  2. 10 Cents10 Cents says:

    3. Humility. Ex. I am sorry and apologize for your stupidity that forced me to go into “Under The Bridge Mode”.

  3. 10 Cents10 Cents says:

    4. Hyper-sensitivity Ex. They not only see through lead they see things that are not even there.

  4. PencilvaniaPencilvania says:

    I think every day he should push at least one person on the site to bet on something they don’t want to bet on. Let’s call him Sal.

  5. JJJJ says:

    Ex ray vision. Can see in our hearts to things we ourselves don’t even know are there.

  6. Avatarctlaw says:

    “I’m not trolling. Really. I want to know…”

  7. PencilvaniaPencilvania says:

    Before he provides any facts for his argument he should insist you denounce Nazis, to the degree at which he is satisfied.

    • 10 Cents10 Cents says:

      But don’t you have to agree with him or he will not be satisfied that you denounce Nazis. (Hey, weren’t the Nazis like this so if you agree with him you are really in favor of Nazi tactics therefore pro-Nazi in a way.)

      Trolls have two headed coins but are really open-minded because they flip the coin in public.

    • Vald the MisspellerVald the Misspeller says:

      Bobby ‘We’re all Nazis now’ Zubrin says … well, that we’re all Nazis now and there’s no use in denying it. Only by casting La Grande Orange into the flames of eternal damnation can we expiate our Neo-Nazi, Nouveau-Fascist impulses. First, we audit, then impeach, and finally comes the soul cleansing and life affirming auto-da-fé. An exorcism may be necessary as well, you can never tell when dealing with demonic Neo-Crypto-Fascisto-National Socialism.

      This accomplished, the good Dr. Z can return to his life’s work, leaving for Mars. I have a list of people I like to see go with him, including a few over there at Not Necessarily Worth the Price of of a Grande Caffè Latte at the flagship Starbucks in Seattle.com.

  8. JJJJ says:

    Bad-faith enforcer: he must assume the worst about everybody with whom he disagrees.

  9. JJJJ says:

    Gnat-strainer: must locate and loudly announce tiny flaws in opponent’s argument, including spelling and punctuation errors.

  10. AvatarTempTime says:

    Won’t we need flags before we hire trolls?

  11. 10 Cents10 Cents says:

    I think there should be a badge “Peon Watcher” for Pencil. (Pencil, don’t forget to tell us how overworked you are.)

  12. PencilvaniaPencilvania says:

    Yes, it’s really a thankless job, being Chief Kabosh-Swinger, especially while living here in this Parisian campground; but my 7 hamsters seem to enjoy watching me swing the kabosh so repetitively that it starts boring into tents, so for the nonce I will slog on.

    • 10 Cents10 Cents says:

      Are you part of Gay Parree?

      When people ask you questions why do you go wee-wee?

      I don’t want to suggest that Vald should be Kaboshed because I am not that type of person. He does hate hamsters and is head of The Cabal.

      • Vald the MisspellerVald the Misspeller says:

        Not so you hose-er, I have cut the cabal and banished Comcast from my bat cave forever. No great sacrifice really, in the end I was down to ESPN and Syfy; the former went full SJW and the latter was all Sharknado marathons all the time.

        PS – I have no opinion on hamsters though I suspect my cat might enjoy them.

        • 10 Cents10 Cents says:

          See, Vald denies it because he is GUILTY. He didn’t even denounce the Nazis, Pencil. Warm up the Kabosh!

          Pencil, do you ever get tired of dealing with wrong thinking peons. Flagtigue?

  13. PencilvaniaPencilvania says:

    Did anyone even get my joke about repetitively, boring and tents? I am wasting my pencil point here.

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