Dateline: Somewhere in the Desert
Private Kenny Schnozzola is one happy soldier. In an interview with this reporter, he says, “Joining the army was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I was born with my dad’s big nose. I mean it was a real honker. But all my life, I’d identified as Rob Lowe. I confessed this to my C.O. and was able to put in for a nose job paid for by the military. Now I can live the life I was always meant to live. The life of a handsome man with a small nose. Thanks, Military!”
Add Private Schnozzola to the legions of heretofore unhappy soldiers who were women trapped in a man’s body but who now, thanks to the U.S. Military, can live the lives they were always born to live. Courtesy of the American taxpayer.
And here is a photo of some of the boys I mean humans GAH I mean soldiers of Company C, happy as can be now that they feel fulfilled!
This photo was taken while the rest of their outfit was out on a mission. These guys I mean people couldn’t go out because that day they identified as women with cramps.
UPDATE: I am sad to report that Private Schnozzola was shot while out on manoeuvres because he was looking at himself in a hand-held mirror instead of watching for the enemy.
He did look go down, right? Is Rob Lowe going to play him in the movie? In my opinion this is The Gratest Generation.
Update: The deceased was survived by flannel pajamas and his cocoa mug. His doctors are up for the Nobel Peace Prize.
hahaha!
[The new ad for the Army.]
Join the Army and be the woman you were meant to be.
Hahaha Wait, why am I laughing
I think Right Angles should be redacted. She is being original and humorous and that seems dangerous. It is not because I am envious and small minded.
There, there, little cotton head.
See, I knew this would happen. She is attacking the fiber of my being.
Stop sweat talking me, RA.
Fine, Ms. Angles gets redacted for being original an humorous and you get rendition for being envious and small minded. But just to show that we’re not envious or small minded as well, you may choose where you shall be so … uh, rendered: 1)Venezuela; 2)Central African Republic; 3)Yemen; 4)Somalia; 5)Syria; or, if you like surprises — or just can’t make up your damn mind — let us choose the hell hole for you. Rest assured, it’ll be someplace exotic where they never heard of the Geneva Convention, or the Marquess of Queensberry Rules or even ‘Finders Keepers Losers Weepers’, and where transgenders have been around for ages — they’re called eunuchs.
Thanks, Vald. I was afraid Chicago or Detroit would be on the list. You still have some sense of decency. Do I get a choice of cable channels and “cell” providers?
I don’t have to read The Daily Shot do I?
You must listen to a podcast of a dramatic reading of the Daily Shot performed by the author.
Vald, you have lost your humanity. Even Right Angles would never be this cruel.
Is a eunuch a new type of progressive? What do I have to do to make the final cut?
Haha Vald, stop being funnier than me.
Right Angles, CNN Foreign Correspondent.
Hey, Dime, you should be more respectful of the Queen of France.
Is the Queen of France a drag?
Hahahaha you guys. Off with his head, off with his head
Head no prob! When you say foot or hand I start to worry.
You crack me up. It’s probably something I ate.
That photo should be titled “the first 3 of your 72 virgins” and dropped as propaganda leaflets in ISIS territory.
Haha! Pencil for Ministry of Propaganda.
You got the mini and props right for Pencil.
Quite enjoyable piece of humor.
Well done. RightA, well done.
I have met a few of the folks IRL and my impression is they are tortured souls who carry great conflict within them. While I have some empathy, I am not sure their ‘condition’ is any less qualifying than my currently having one fully functioning arm should be waived for entry into a combat role.
We have made ‘inclusion’ a sacrament, ignoring performance.
Not a good sigh. Cultures that respect performance tend to top the food chain.
Thank you, TKC
“UPDATE: I am sad to report that Private Schnozzola was shot while out on manoeuvres because he was looking at himself in a hand-held mirror instead of watching for the enemy.”
We could do a dozen different versions and I hereby throw down the gantlet.
UPDATE: After one of his squadmates said Private Schnozzola looked more like Chad Lowe, Private Schnozzola opened the camp gate for an ISIS raid that wiped out Company C.
Hahaha! Funny AND a law degree.