{"id":5626,"date":"2024-02-08T22:39:06","date_gmt":"2024-02-08T22:39:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/?p=5626"},"modified":"2024-02-09T01:00:18","modified_gmt":"2024-02-09T01:00:18","slug":"magical-soulmate-thinking-destructive-of-course","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/magical-soulmate-thinking-destructive-of-course\/","title":{"rendered":"Magical &#8216;Soulmate&#8217; Thinking Destructive, Of Course"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>An opinion piece in the Washington Examiner ponders survey results or something which indicate that a majority of Americans believe in &#8220;The One&#8221; true love for whom they are destined.\u00a0 Gag me with a bouquet.\u00a0 My wife has a fairly broad romantic streak which I find adorable, but sometimes the line &#8220;Marriage isn&#8217;t magic &#8212; it takes real work to make it work, and this is one of those times,&#8221; has been the towtruck to pull us back from the brink.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OpqAgYezOG\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonexaminer.com\/opinion\/2845509\/how-soulmate-myth-is-dividing-the-country\/\">How the soulmate myth is dividing the country<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px);\" title=\"&#8220;How the soulmate myth is dividing the country&#8221; &#8212; Washington Examiner\" src=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonexaminer.com\/opinion\/2845509\/how-soulmate-myth-is-dividing-the-country\/embed\/#?secret=gdXqrns5gq#?secret=OpqAgYezOG\" data-secret=\"OpqAgYezOG\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The opiner quotes from some study:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cAt their core, soulmate beliefs provide a backwards depiction of the sequencing of healthy relationship development,\u201d the authors of the report write. \u201cThey suggest that someone exists as your One-and-Only before you have even met; therefore, relationship success is primarily about simply finding that person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSoulmate thinking diverts attention away from a fundamental truth of loving and lasting marriage,\u201d the report continues. \u201cThat oneness is made, not found.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Yes, that&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve said for decades, uh, when necessary.\u00a0 This is the destructive aspect:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>After all, if this person is my soulmate, our lives together should be effortless. If there is any trouble at all, he or she cannot be the one.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a tidbit that misses the point a little bit:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A whopping 70% of Democratic women <a href=\"https:\/\/www.aei.org\/politics-and-public-opinion\/dating-across-the-aisle-is-difficult-in-the-age-of-trump\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">say<\/a> they would not even consider dating someone who had a different view of Donald Trump than they did. That eliminates a lot of otherwise compatible men from the list.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The missed point is that political stance is not trivial and unconnected to compatibility.\u00a0 I feel that this is a common assumption, made by people who take either politics or relationships or both not too seriously.\u00a0 Or they are serious, but not too bright about things.\u00a0 Politics is the single most effective shorthand that we have for establishing compatibility.\u00a0 A leftist is a leftist first and anything else second.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t believe me?\u00a0 Get into a relationship with one and watch your identity be destroyed until it serves the needs of your leftist &#8220;partner&#8221;.\u00a0 Marrying or siginificantly dating a leftist makes you a hostage to the things that you want, as rationed in accordance with your political capitulation.<\/p>\n<p>The second thing a man should establish when assessing the value of a romantic prospect is her politics.\u00a0 Right after a package check.<\/p>\n<p>This may seem contradictory &#8212; primacy of politics or primacy of hard work?\u00a0 There are some problems which no amount of hard work will rectify.\u00a0 See Boxer the Horse (Animal Farm) for an illustration of well-intended, committed hard work being welcomed by the left.\u00a0 A serious difference in politics bound into a committed relationship will result in the destruction of one of the two people.\u00a0 So don&#8217;t get into that situation.\u00a0 Marry your own kind of girl, or suffer.\u00a0 As they say, &#8220;Sin in haste, repent at leisure.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pld-like-dislike-wrap pld-template-1\">\r\n    <div class=\"pld-like-wrap  pld-common-wrap\">\r\n    <a href=\"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-login.php\" class=\"pld-like-trigger pld-like-dislike-trigger  \" title=\"\" data-post-id=\"5626\" data-trigger-type=\"like\" data-restriction=\"user\" data-already-liked=\"0\">\r\n                        <i class=\"fas fa-thumbs-up\"><\/i>\r\n                <\/a>\r\n    <span class=\"pld-like-count-wrap pld-count-wrap\">    <\/span>\r\n<\/div><div class=\"pld-dislike-wrap  pld-common-wrap\">\r\n    <a href=\"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-login.php\" class=\"pld-dislike-trigger pld-like-dislike-trigger  \" title=\"\" data-post-id=\"5626\" data-trigger-type=\"dislike\" data-restriction=\"user\" data-already-liked=\"0\">\r\n                        <i class=\"fas fa-thumbs-down\"><\/i>\r\n                <\/a>\r\n    <span class=\"pld-dislike-count-wrap pld-count-wrap\"><\/span>\r\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An opinion piece in the Washington Examiner ponders survey results or something which indicate that a majority of Americans believe in &#8220;The One&#8221; true love for whom they are destined.\u00a0 Gag me with a bouquet.\u00a0 My wife has a fairly broad romantic streak which I find adorable, but sometimes the line &#8220;Marriage isn&#8217;t magic &#8212; it takes real work to make it work, and this is one of those times,&#8221; has been the towtruck to pull us back from the brink.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonexaminer.com\/opinion\/2845509\/how-soulmate-myth-is-dividing-the-country\/\">How the soulmate myth is dividing the country<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>The opiner quotes from some study:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt their core, soulmate beliefs provide a backwards depiction of the sequencing of healthy relationship development,\u201d the authors of the report write. \u201cThey suggest that someone exists as your One-and-Only before &#8230; <a href=\"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/magical-soulmate-thinking-destructive-of-course\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5626"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5628,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626\/revisions\/5628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}