{"id":3808,"date":"2017-08-14T08:54:12","date_gmt":"2017-08-13T23:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/?p=3808"},"modified":"2017-08-14T08:54:12","modified_gmt":"2017-08-13T23:54:12","slug":"google-achieves-peak-ludicrous-can-no-longer-be-parodied","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/google-achieves-peak-ludicrous-can-no-longer-be-parodied\/","title":{"rendered":"Google Achieves Peak Ludicrous, Can No Longer Be Parodied"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Goolag<\/p>\n

As proof, see\u00a0here<\/a>. Now this memo is not real, we might say it’s ‘Fake but Accurate’, that is it faithfully reflects Google’s corporate position on life, the universe and everything* but it was not written by a Googler. How do we know this? well, there are a few tells:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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First, the author’s name, Kevin Clark. Hell, might as well have a neon sign over your head proclaiming, “privileged white bread cracker scion of the hegemonic patriarchy and life time member of the Aryan Brotherhood”. No, real people of Google have monikers like Aishiwarya “wrath of Kali” Premji-Tata, and Alonzo Shaka Zulu Jr., and Mustafa ibn Abu al Doofus. In other words, genuine Google names are celebrations of multicultural, multi-grain,\u00a0multi-orgasmic diversification!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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Second, the guy is apparently a Catholic. Now, it’s highly unlikely that someone who engages in promiscuous, unprotected Christianity with multiple partners — i.e., Church — could ever get past the arbiters of right thinking and appropriate attitudes guarding the gates at Fortress Googlestein.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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Finally, the author of this ersatz memo is entirely too forthcoming, acknowledging that the previous memo erred when it proclaimed Google “approves of free speech” when what they really meant was that Google must be “free to approve speech”. Now this is true of course, but you just can’t come out and say so. Rather you must offer vague, anodyne assurances that wrong think will not be permitted to harsh the collective mellow of the Google hive mind. Here is an excerpt from the real \u00a0corporate response to the offending manifesto:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 \u201cMany of you have read an internal document shared by someone in our engineering organization, expressing views on the natural abilities and characteristics of different genders, as well as whether one can speak freely of these things at Google. And like many of you, I found that it advanced incorrect assumptions about gender. I’m not going to link to it here as it’s not a viewpoint that I or this company endorses, promotes or encourages.\u201d<\/em> —\u00a0 Danielle Brown, Vice President for Diversity, Integrity and Governance<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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Note the last sentence, “I’m not going to link to it here as it’s not a viewpoint that I or this company endorses, promotes or encourages.” In other words, we don’t like this view point and neither should you because that would be evil and … Don’t Be Evil.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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So Google has become an Orwellian black hole, sucking in analysis and introspection and judgment, and grinding them down into a singularity of GoogleThink. Despite all their money, it’s hard to see how an organization this hidebound and abstracted from reality can survive long term.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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*’everything’ of course means the one thing, the only thing that matters — diversity<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Save<\/span><\/p>\n

Save<\/span><\/p>\n

Save<\/span><\/p>\n

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\r\n \r\n <\/i>\r\n <\/a>\r\n <\/span>\r\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"Goolag<\/p>\n

As proof, see\u00a0here<\/a>. Now this memo is not real, we might say it’s ‘Fake but Accurate’, that is it faithfully reflects Google’s corporate position on life, the universe and everything* but it was not written by a Googler. How do we know this? well, there are a few tells:<\/p>\n

First, the author’s name, Kevin Clark. Hell, might as well have a neon sign over your head proclaiming, “privileged white bread cracker scion of the hegemonic patriarchy and life time member of the Aryan Brotherhood”. No, real people of Google have monikers like Aishiwarya “wrath of Kali” Premji-Tata, and Alonzo Shaka Zulu Jr., … Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5665,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3808","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5665"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3808"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3808\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3813,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3808\/revisions\/3813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/balldiamondball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}